Online Dating's not all it's cracked up to be
by CraftyBynamite
Summary: Jeff is getting pretty fed up of people thinking that he's dating his best friend whenever they go out. Out of loneliness and at the insistence of his friend, he creates a dating profile online and is surprised with the amount interest he gets. Unfortunately not everything goes according to plan for him or Kurt, but is it for the better? Klaine and Niff
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, so this is my first fanfic in a while, it's a three parter and is dedicated to bexasaurous112 on Tumblr for the Glee Secret Santa. It's an AU from the get-go. And the first part is kinda summary-ish, but that will change for the next update.**

Kurt and Jeff were best friends and had been since that fateful day Mrs Sterling had pulled up at Hummel's Tire and Lube for an emergency wheel change and a ten year old Jeff had been ushered into the back room where an eleven year old Kurt had been watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the TV. Jeff still remembered to this day the way that Kurt had absolutely beamed when Jeff had pointed out that Sarah Michelle Geller's clothes were completely impractical for the ass kicking to dust six vamps before launching into a debate about who was better: Angel or Spike? Whenever a rerun would air on SyFy, Kurt would still stand by his his initial declaration that Angel was not only better, but also hotter than Spike. Jeff still begged to differ. Nonetheless, a flat tyre quickly turned into hanging out at each other's houses and dinners at Kurt's or gaming tourneys at Jeff's. Burt adored Jeff because he didn't care that Kurt was smaller than the other boys and would rather redesign uniforms for football players than watch the actual game. Mr and Mrs Sterling loved having Kurt over because there were a lot less broken vases and ornaments around the house and Jeff finally had someone who wouldn't ignore him to hang out with his older brothers. And if Jeff became slightly more concerned about his appearance, then Mrs Sterling wasn't going to be one to complain.

Jeff and Kurt were glued to each other's sides throughout middle school. When Kurt began making clothes and character plushies for Jeff, Jeff would treasure them and when Jeff drew something for Kurt, Kurt would pin them to his walls until by the time the boys graduated from middle school, his room was a giant tribute to Jeff's artistic capabilities. So no one was surprised when, upon learning that Uncle Burt couldn't afford to send Kurt to Dalton Academy in Westerville too, Jeff glared defiantly at his parents and outright refused to attend the school which had been home at some point to every single Sterling man since the school's inception. Jeff's parents relented when Jeff came up with a 5 page report about how bad the bullying would get for Kurt and how Jeff would be negatively affected if the boys weren't there for each other. There were accompanying graphs at the end.

So Jeff and Kurt went to high school together. But as much as Jeff was plastered to Kurt's side, Finn Hudson and his cronies still managed to get Kurt alone and toss the petite teen into the dumpsters or chuck pee balloons at him. Then that creep Ryerson got fired for touching that senior and Kurt desperately wanted to join Mr Schuester's new Glee club. Then Hudson and a bunch of his jock buddies including that idiot Puck joined Glee as well as a bunch of Cheerios. Then for some odd reason, Mercedes smashed Kurt's wind shield causing Kurt to sob hysterically into Jeff's arms about liking Hudson instead of Berry. Jeff just pecked Kurt on the nose with his usual sparkling smile and said that Puck was insanely hotter than Hudson would ever be. Jeff was there letting Kurt clench his hand whilst Uncle Burt told them about the birthday with the sensible heels and Kurt practically lived off of coffee and Red Bull whilst forcing Jeff to get through finals. When Karofsky got more vicious and brutal in his bullying of Kurt, Jeff was there cleaning the cuts and scrapes, begging his friend to tell someone until they were sat in Principal Figgins' office with both of their parents listening to a recording of the boy in question threatening to kill Kurt if the boy told anyone about an unwanted kiss.

Jeff could easily recall the way that Mrs Karofsky had stormed out of the room, enraged not because of her son's bullying Kurt, but rather his attraction towards men. After Dave had broken down in the Principal's office, Kurt had instantly flipped his switch from scared teen to supportive friend and, even though at the time Jeff thought that he was insane, insisted that Dave not be expelled if he changed his behaviour. Needless to say, it was a shock to all the following Monday when Dave Karofsky forewent his usual lunchtime seat with the football team to sit with the Glee Club. And when Dave and Kurt were elected for Prom King and Queen, heads turned when Dave held out his hand and led Kurt through their first dance as prom royalty after Jeff had dragged him back in the gym to accept his tiara.

The class of 2012's final year at William McKinley marked a change in both Kurt and Jeff's relationship with each other. Despite many of their friends asking them why they didn't just date each other, the two teens had remained single...not for lack of trying. After several make out sessions and dates which ended awkwardly when both boys realised that although the other was incredibly attractive, their friendship made them feel more like brothers than anything else, they just decided to stop trying to force a romantic relationship between themselves just because everyone told them too.

In the boys' senior year, both Jeff and Kurt applied for multiple schools in New York and to everyone's insistence (apart from Rachel), Kurt also applied for a couple of fashion internships as well as Parsons, just in case he could not get into NYADA. In the end, it did pay off as Kurt readied himself to work at so that he could build up his portfolio before reapplying to a fashion school. In the mean time, Jeff was happily preparing for his first semester at NYU where he would be splitting his degree between art and dance, having found it difficult to decide between his two passions. Much to Rachel's disappointment, the two boys decided to share a flat alone together and leave her to the horrors of dormitory life. It worked out perfectly and the two best friends had soon noticed that the amount of drama in their lives had taken a nose dive, thus letting a (mostly) peaceful routine settle upon them. Occasionally, there was a bump in the road, like when Finn slept on the couch for a week after finding Rachel in bed with a guy named Brody from her dorms. Apart from that, and the occasional invasion of Kurt's colleagues or Jeff's multiple study groups, the boys easily let time pass them by. After all, loneliness wasn't an issue if you lived with your best friend, until Jeff found that it was.

Throughout the years, Kurt had dated three people. First there was Chandler who's excitable nature and lack of tact about his dislike of Jeff gave the blonde a permanent headache and an urge to punch something. After an incident involving Chandler accidentally sending a text to Kurt which was actually intended for a guy that he'd met at the sheet music store, Jeff was grateful that his friend had finally seen the light. Around Valentine's day during senior year, Kurt began receiving gorilla-grams which later turned out to be from Karofsky. They went on a few dates – to Breadstix and Scandals – but found that they had too much history between them to be anything other than friends. The third, and most recent, guy was someone Kurt had met whilst at Callbacks with Brody and Rachel. His name was Adam, and was for all intents and purposes, the perfect guy until he butt-dialled Kurt whilst going down on one of his colleagues. It had been disturbingly therapeutic when Jeff punched him in the face the next day. That had been two months ago and once Kurt had gotten over his heartbreak, he decided to focus his attention back onto Jeff's love life. After all, Jeff had never dated anyone other than his best friend and Kurt only knew too well how lonely the blonde was despite his bubbly exterior.

So, one evening, Jeff and Kurt sat together in Isabelle's office as the woman took it upon herself to help them create an online dating profile once she pointed out that the reason Jeff had no luck in bars was because everyone thought that he and Kurt were a couple. After Jeff created the profile, it wasn't long before people began messaging him and vice versa, resulting in Jeff looking perkier than ever.

Kurt and Jeff were the best of friends, they did everything together, to the point where they were often mistaken for being a couple. What neither boy realised as Kurt hemmed a pair of dress pants and Jeff got a ping during his lunch break on a sunny Thursday afternoon, was that Mrs Sterling's burst tyre all those years ago was a catalyst that drastically changed the boys' lives for the better and set them on a path to find their soulmates.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** **Hi guys, Sorry this is late. RL is kicking my ass, but it is my final semester at uni, so what can you expect. Hopefully the next chapter will be out before I graduate, but who knows?**

Jeff was munching on a cream cheese bagel and half listening to Jodie complain about their dance teacher when his phone buzzed with a new message. He checked it, expecting to see if Kurt needed him to pick up dinner again, but was pleasantly surprised to find one of the standard automated messages from that dating site he'd signed up to. He tapped the message and blinked curiously when he realised it was from a handle he didn't recognise, hoping that it wasn't from the last guy who had sent him pictures of his dick after two chats, he followed the link to the site.

_B_Warbler: Hi Jeff! I came across your profile randomly and saw that we had some similar interests so I didn't want to miss my opportunity. My name is Blaine, I'm a freshman at NYADA – majoring in Musical Theatre, I just started in January, and I'm turning 19 in February. I'm from Ohio originally, but am in love with New York. As much as I love RENT and Moulin Rouge, my secret passion is comics. I'm slightly addicted to Marvel and DC, and my first crush was Nightwing. I'm really sorry if this message comes off as self-centred or something, I've never done this whole online thing before and whenever I go out, my friend and I end up double-third wheeling our room mates. It's just plain awkward...and I never meet anyone._

_Either way, I hope to hear back from you - sooner, rather than later._

_Yours, Blaine _

Jeff re-read the message once, then twice again. A feeling of happy giddiness bloomed in his chest before it was quickly replaced by uncertainty. How did he reply back? He was shit with words, it was a Kurt-shaped miracle that he managed to pass English Lit at school. Deciding to put it off until he spoke to his roommate, he decided to check out Blaine's profile picture.

_Okay..._

_Wow._

* * *

"I don't know why you're so stressed out about this," Kurt remarked. "I mean you've had plenty of messages on this site, what makes this guy so different?"

Jeff sat at the breakfast bar in their flat, facing Kurt who was measuring out ingredients for a new recipe he'd seen with his laptop sitting between them.

"I don't know, maybe because this guy actually read my profile page and doesn't sound like he wants to bone me?"

"Plus he's hot." Kurt stated, passing him a slab of chocolate, "Here, chop this up."

"An added bonus. Do you want the whole thing?"

"Except for two rows. Give me the laptop, I'll write the first message, but you're on your own after that."

"I love you."

"Please, you only want me for my eloquent way with words...and my food." Kurt added, shooting Jeff a small glare making the other man shove the rest of the chocolate he'd stolen from the bowl into his mouth.

Jeff grinned unrepentantly. "Crap, you figured out my plan. Years of hard work down the drain right there!"

"Just give me the damn computer, dork."

_J_Sterling36: Hey Blaine_

_It was wonderful to hear from someone who actually read my profile. Well, as you know, my name is Jeff and I'm also a freshman, but at NYU. I'm double majoring in Art and Dance. Not the most reliable of subjects, but I love them both. You're from Ohio?! My roommate and I moved here from Lima. Even though it's my home, I definitely prefer living in New York compared to there, I'm more than fed up with bullying homophobes. Nightwing, huh? I'm a Marvel boy myself – I love the new Gambit series, I grew up watching the cartoons and he was my first crush. You're into musicals too? Kurt (my roommate and best friend) absolutely loves musicals – he's really into Wicked. I think he has a whole iPod dedicated to the soundtrack or something. I prefer Sweeney Todd...mainly because of Johnny Depp. I've not really done online dating either but I figured it was worth a shot. I thought it's be too messy if I started dating someone from my classes – I know from watching my friends' high school dramas. So, have you seen Les Mis yet? I'm kind of dubious, but only because I saw it on stage when I was younger._

_I have to go now or I'll just start rambling, but I look forward to your reply._

_Jeff_

Kurt handed the computer back to Jeff with an expectant look. "Well, what do you think?" Jeff read the message over and beamed at the brunette.

"It's pretty much exactly what I wanted to say without being ridiculously awkward." Jeff grinned, flicking his hair out of his eyes. "Thanks, Kurt."

"No problem." Kurt turned his attention back to his baking, cracking some eggs into a mixing bowl and whisking them.

* * *

A few weeks later, and Kurt thought that there definitely was some merit to this online dating thing. Jeff looked perkier than he had been for months and it was all thanks to Blaine's continuous messaging. Kurt was definitely happy for his friend, how couldn't he be? This was what he wanted for Jeff, and Jeff definitely deserved to be happy, that much was obvious. But still, as Jeff became more and more attached to his phone and laptop, as his eyes lit up with each message Kurt found himself becoming uncomfortable with the whole thing. He had his theories behind his own discomfort, including, yet not limited to, Blaine being some 60 year old pervert, a psychopath out for his next kill, or even just some guy trolling him. Kurt didn't care that there were photos posted of one of the most handsome men he had ever seen. That warm, olive skin and those beautiful hazel eyes could belong to some poor victim of identity theft.

Still, Kurt didn't say anything, not wanting to put a downer on Jeff and break his resolution on being more positive. It was only whilst Kurt was chatting to Isabelle during a coffee-break that he realised (or rather Isabelle pointed it out) even though his concerns were valid to some degree, the crux of the issue was actually to do with him.

Isabelle let him down gently. Kurt was jealous...and beginning to sound irrational if she had to be honest. "No offence, Sweetie."

Kurt pointedly chose to ignore Isabelle's worried frown. He knew what she was thinking, he _was_ jealous of Jeff and beginning to feel the woes of singledom again, but that didn't change the fact that he was less than keen to experience an inevitably doomed relationship.

It seemed as though once Kurt had his moment of realisation, his day had gone downhill. Not only had one of the new interns spilt their coffee over Kurt's paperwork for Isabelle, The mailroom guy had switched up the mail so he had to run around the offices trying to track down the rogue Fendi scarf before Isabelle left for the day. Then, he'd been splashed by a car on his way to the subway station, and the the train broke down on the tracks, leaving Kurt squashed between someone who stank strongly of vodka and a business woman who spent the whole time shouting down her cellphone. By the time he closed the door to the apartment behind him whilst cursing his bad luck the only thing on his mind was the tub of Chunky Monkey Ben and Jerry's waiting for him in the freezer.

"You are not a walking disaster!"Jeff called out in greeting from the sofa, not moving his eyes from the episode of Criminal Minds playing on the TV. Kurt trudged over and slumped down next to the blonde. Jeff paused the TV and turned towards him, "Why are you a walking disaster? Did something happen, or was it a shit day?"

"Just one of those days." Kurt sighed. "I am so looking forward to the weekend."

"It's Tuesday." Jeff deadpanned. He offered Kurt the bowl of popcorn he'd been keeping propped on his lap.

"Your point being?" Kurt asked around a mouthful of food.

"Ice cream or frozen yoghurt?" Jeff asked as he got up and headed towards the fridge-freezer.

"Please tell me there's more Chunky Monkey."

"That bad, huh?" Jeff rooted around the freezer for a moment before making a sound of triumph. He came back to the couch handing Kurt his ice cream and one of the two spoons he'd grabbed on the way back. "So, tell Jeffy about it."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, "You'd really rather hear about my shitty day than watch Doctor Spencer Reid?"

"Always, Kurtie." Jeff chirped, though his face dropped at Kurt's disbelieving stare. "Okay, never mind. I was hoping to let you vent before buttering you up."

"That doesn't sound good. What did you do and why am I involved?" Kurt asked warily.

"Well," Jeff began, dragging out the word. "You know how I've been messaging Blaine?"

"Seriously? You're always using your phone, it might as well be a tumour."

Jeff looked slightly cowed at Kurt's sarcasm but perked back up almost instantly. "Anyway, me, Blaine, messaging. You get the point. Well, me and Blaine were thinking of meeting...for a date or something."

Kurt felt his stomach drop. "Are you sure you're ready? I mean, you haven't even Skyped yet, have you?"

"We haven't, I thought it would take away some of the excitement of the first meeting...plus, I can't be bothered to fix my webcam. And, I know you've been worried about this, you're like an open book to me, Kurt, don't even try to deny it."Jeff said, poking at Kurt's arm. "Well, Blaine and I were discussing it, and he has this friend..."

"You want us to double date?" Kurt questioned him incredulously.

"I didn't even say that."

"But you're definitely implying it."

"Okay, fine, it's a double date." Jeff admitted, tugging at his hair. "But, Blaine told me that Nick's very nice and he's really interested in meeting you."

"He doesn't even know me." Kurt argued.

"Maybe not, but he might be someone you want to know later on. Mr Right isn't just waiting for you to fall into his lap, you know. And besides, it might make things less awkward..." Jeff looked at his eyes with hopeful eyes. "Please, Kurt...for me?"

Kurt met Jeff's gaze and sighed. As Jeff put melted into a wide smile, Kurt shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. "You owe me." He mumbled around the spoon.


End file.
